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Over the years of reading blogs I have noticed that many choose a word that they want to symbolize the upcoming year. I have always enjoyed reading those posts. This past year was my first full year to try and balance single parenting and owning my own business full time. There were many growing pains, and most likely more to come. Spiritual growing pains, emotional, financial, and yes even physical. Through all of the ups and downs the one thing I've clung to this past year has been determination. That is both extremely positive AND detrimental! Filling the schedule so much to make the ends meet, making sure I'm at all of the children's functions, trying to keep up this old house because who knows if I will have to sell it or not. When I read that back it sounds like complaints. Those aren't complaints at all. I love the work I do, I adore being there for my children, I like working on my home and seeing the new life I'm breathing into it. The only down side to that is that I give myself to all of that. When you give and give and give...eventually there is nothing left to give.
This past year I've been very happy, felt God's blessings more than ever, been a little sad from time to time, stressed and sleep deprived a lot, felt joy that I never anticipated, and had my faith in good people restored. Yet, that determination I clung so hard to has left me a bit worn down.
I have hope that the future will be brighter, I have hope that this year will be exceptional. I have hope that I have learned from the past and will only improve. God is always with me, so I have hope.
This business is amazing. It's hard, the hours are long, the schedule grueling. But, when your "why" is your children and your own passion, it's worth it all!
When these little cuties say how much they love something I have completed, or when they say how happy they are that I came to their school party, or when the boy that hardly ever gets deep emotionally tells you how happy he is that I am the one that picks him up and am with him in the afternoon (even if I'm working)...those things are why I do what I do. This is why I have hope.